When I think about some of the traumatic experiences I have had in my life, it makes me wonder how I am able to function like a sane human being. Some days I question my sanity. Maybe I am just a thinking time bomb waiting to happen because there are days when so I am close to the edge but somehow I am able to pull myself back.
The world is not a fair place. This is a universal truth we all get to experience at different points in different degrees in our lifetime. I lost two loved ones in the space of two years whilst trying to get a degree. There is something about that pain I cannot rinse off my conscience. It strains and stings every time I try to talk about it. I will have to live with this for the rest of my life.
My post today borders on trauma and how we prepare ourselves for what life throws our way--if we can. I certainly do not have the answer to this question, but it is an open conversation and everyone can share their two cents on the matter.
When is the right time to expose someone to the harsh realities of the world?
A month ago I watched a documentary on a serial killer and how he was exposed to some traumatic events in his life at an early age and how that translated into who he became later in life. I certainly do not have any sympathy for him or what he did, but I can understand–at least–why he was the way he was.
Every loving parent would try their possible best to shield their kids from the harsh realities of life. I don't know how my life would have turned out if I was exposed to certain things at a certain age. It would have definitely taken the spark out of my eyes.
However, exposure to the harsh realities of life later on in life doesn't necessarily cushion the effect of those traumatic events. I have read and seen people go insane for half of the things I have had to endure or experience in my life, and I do not judge, nor do I think I am better than them. If anything I understand we all have different thresholds for pain, and from what I know about pain and trauma we all react to it differently.
Some people react to traumatic events almost instantly while others take a lifetime to unravel. The idea of healing or shaking things off has become more of a myth to me because I understand now, more than ever, that pain isn't something that leaves. It becomes part of you and your only recourse is to learn to deal with it.
So going back to the question of when is the right time to expose one to the harsh realities of life. I will say there is not the right time. The best one can ever possibly have in their moments of weakness is a strong mind and a good support system. This is your best chance of coming out of such a situation without losing a huge part of yourself because in your moment of weakness everything happens to you.
The scariest thoughts I have had this year have changed how I see difficult times, and it goes like this:
If good things–you know/think that you don't deserve– can happen to you, then there is also a huge possibility that bad things you don't deserve can happen to you as well.
It is soul-crushing and liberating to think this way about anything. In fact, life gives you more of the things you don't deserve (good and bad) than the things you deserve. At what point in my life would this have been any easy information to digest? I don't know, and to be frank, it is still something I have accepted every day. With this realization comes some level of gratitude–when good things happen, and some humility when bad things happen because then I realize and accept that I am only human and susceptible to the whims and caprices of the universe.