This is one question I have been asking myself lately but I have been too distracted with my grind to answer. You know, there is a trick with life, in the sense that you are caught up with a whole bunch of things--money, family, work, etc, you forget the important thing--YOU. This can happen for a prolonged period and you lose YOURSELF in the process.
I had a rude awakening a couple of months back that has changed the entire trajectory of my life. I abandoned a life I have known for so many years for something entirely different because I realized I was living a lie, coupled with being at the whims and caprices of people that did not care about me, living in a bubble of lies and make-believe.
Leaving something you supposedly love or something that has the semblance of your dream can be a difficult task but I did it anyway and I felt liberated. My life isn't any easier but it feels good to be FREE (or so I think). However, this opened another window into self-discovery.
For most humans, our path in life is fixed once we've made that decision and we often make this decision earlier in life. You hear people say things like, "this is what I have always wanted to do," but the important question would be, is this what you want to do now?
I have always wanted to write since high school and fortunately, I have been able to do that activity for some years now. This isn't something I take lightly because not too many people get to live their dreams or make a living out of them or even try to dream something new. It is so empowering
So what do you care about?
As much as writing has been an integral part of my life, I think this chapter of my life is ending– at least in the way I have done it so far. So I am saddled with the herculean task of defining the next phase of my life. It will certainly be centred around entrepreneurship considering my new love and hate relationship with money. I am getting out of the matrix or its semblance.
I have a few ideas of what I want to do with my time. I’ve shared some of these things on this platform, and I am hoping to achieve them within a reasonable time. Notwithstanding, these things do not define me, and having them is only a means to an end. So what I am saying in essence is that I have a level of detachment towards dreams and aspirations that allows me to function with or without them.
I know I haven’t answered the question, and maybe that’s because I don’t care about anything–not as much as I should. I do not want anything to lay claim to my soul, not my dreams or ambition. I want to be able to walk in and out of anything without a daint on my conscious. It is too much to ask for because most times people/ideas/things need your unquestionable devotion, which is something I am incapable of doing anymore.
I honestly do not care about it much anymore. I know this puts me in a bad light in so many scenarios but I do not mind. I do not know how much of this will change in the nearest future but this is how I feel about everything, even the supposed things I care about.