Just Sitting Here: Making a Freak and Being a Freak I Guess

in #lifelast year

Good day to you, fine reader of this.  Welcome to the second sentence of this article.

Today, I feel like making an attempt.

Not just any attempt though, no.  It shall be a full-on, attemptation.

But that's not even a word and luckily, I don't care.

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I can explain!

What you're witnessing is my brain unraveling; and when I say, "My," I am referring to, me.

Who am I?  It's me.  I already said that.  NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself.

I can be really clever sometimes so I'm dragging this out before I actually get serious.  Over the years I've noticed if people are able to power through my rough edges, they eventually start to like me.

Notice how you've started to like me?

I have.  And I like your style!

Along the path known as this life of mine, I don't know what the hell I did right, but somehow, miraculously, people actually started to enjoy my shit.  The good shit anyway.  There's some bad shit but I'll just shut up about that in case you're new, since a good first impression goes a long way, until you fuck it up.

As many of you don't know, I've been traveling through some hectic times lately.  My mind is going all loopy.  Having problems staying focused.  Plenty of those cloudy unwanted thought storms keep blowing in and being destructive, then blaming me for the mess.

Normally I'd just bounce and vanish when things get like this.  Take some time to clear it all out.  Get away from everyone and everything before the stuff that's bugging me rubs off on them somehow.

Not in the business of ruining lives, as that only makes the pain stay, rather than go away.

Still trust myself, of course.  Though I can be a little much at times, and way too much for some people, I make damn sure to refrain from completely losing my mind, grabbing that Bic, then burning everything in sight like I'm some kind of an asshole who can't even make toast.

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People do that, you know.

There's even one dude out there who's really starting to piss me off.  And can you believe I saw him spewing out some recycled ignorant nonsense like a bullshit fountain?

Probably.

But what's even more amazing is I just strolled on by; didn't say a word.

Progress.  I'm making progress.

What's cool is there could be fifty people or more right now who all think I'm talking about them; so I figured this would be the best way to fuck with all of them in one shot.

I'm joking!

This is actually about art.

Bet you didn't see that coming; while being engulfed in a performance.

Much like that crowd of fifty, who only exist in their minds and who are now looking at themselves deeply and internally, I too noticed something about myself just the other day: my name.  Specifically, the part I tacked on years ago just for shits and giggles.

The Writer/Artist Himself.

How fitting, in a world where manual human creativity is seemingly going extinct.

I write.  I produce digital art.  I do it all myself.  From my mind, to my hand, for your eyes.  Several years of experience, thousands of witnesses and the evidence; all locked in a blockchain.

It's almost as if I saw this coming.

Yet I still get the question:  "Did A.I. do that?"

I know people mean well, but that's some kind of a strange new element not seen in this universe before.  Difficult to process.  Struggle with it every time I go to start a new project (and I know I'm not alone).

Incomplete projects are building up.  WIP folder getting whipped.

"Do all this work.  Spend all this time.  It'll just blend in with the noise.  Won't even occur to people it was actually made by mind and hand," say my thoughts, every time.

Even the mathmagician is sitting there feeling like they've lost their special powers.  The writer is afraid to write because it won't be perfect.  The educator doesn't know if they've truly reached their students and the students worry their natural abilities will go unrecognized.  Confidence levels across the board are at an all time low, to the point people aren't even comfortable talking about it.

Of course I don't care about what others do with their lives, and change is to be expected, so you learn to adjust, since you can't adjust them.

I took a long walk to get here; steps I'll never forget.  Literally, actual steps.

What I'm experiencing is nothing new to me, yet it still took some reflecting and processing to come to that realization.

Feeling like digital art will be overlooked, underappreciated, and even disrespected; that's how I got my start.

Roughly a decade ago, was down to my last bus ticket; had no money.  Decided to walk and save that ticket for as long as I could.  Always passing little art galleries and that day, I decided to stop in.

I was met with cold silence.

I'm looking around, being watched, then asked this woman what she knew about digital art.  She basically cut me in half with snotty bitch tone and said something like, "If you want a poster, you can go to Walmart and buy one for a dollar!"

Overpowered by a bad attitude, as she surrounds herself in overpriced paint collecting dust and doing nothing; I left.

Really I just wanted to get to know someone in the art world; had no clue where to begin.  Thought a conversation would be a good starting point.  Had no idea, "Digital art," was a fucking swear word in those places.

If you were there and knew the whole story, you'd understand why the rest of the walk home, with every step, would just piss me off more and more.

Those days, everything in life seemed to exist just to hold me back, shoot me down, piss on me, burn me, force me to snort the ashes, then call the horrifying hallucinations the only dreams I'll ever have.

Was even walking into the wind.

"I'm better than this!"

Said my thoughts.

Years later one realizes those trials exist to push you, make you better, because you needed a good kick in the ass and a clean boot was the only thing they had that day.

All it was, was the fuel I required to take me where I wanted to go, my way.

Fuck the roads and fuck the people saying I can't drive there; I'll walk.

If you've been around me for awhile you may remember elements of that story coming to the surface.  It means so damn much to me.  Something I'll never forget.  Basically one of the first pieces of the puzzle that makes up this entire picture.

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A picture that still isn't finished.

Now I'm learning new lessons.

Those gifts that fall from the sky then land in your mind while you're busy thinking and when you least expect them.

I make a terrible shadow so when I need to advance, I sneak into the heads of others, view the world through their lens, then leave without a trace and a mind full of grace.

Way back when, that woman in the gallery was feeling just like I am, today.  She must have felt like a digital artist was somehow a threat to her method of being; an artist that paints and I was the enemy with my digital wizardry.  Similar to how over a century ago, portrait painters wanted to murder photographers and bust those cameras over their heads for stealing the selfie business.

A.I. comes along and I'm supposed to feel threatened though?

How?  It's not my fault a bunch of amateurs stepped in, saturated their market with mass-produced factory made knockoffs, forever devaluing their brand, product, and services; all within ten minutes.

Really no different than the selfie business.  Amateurs made it so there's nothing special about a selfie, aside from those spots on the mirror and maybe the toilet in the background.  They'll work to make themselves look good, ruin it with standardized aftereffects, then settle for likes and digital happy face stickers pouring in from random creepers.

Add in an actual photographer; they make people and even themselves look incredible while making good coin for it.  A good portrait painter is making even more.  Even the sketch artist on the path in the park is still kicking ass, provided they can find someone who can actually sit still in this day and age.

Anyone capable just went 10x?

One big mindfuck.

The day many fear is already here, and I'm just staring at it in the face, as I walk on by.

And in a sense, we're all enslaved by our tools anyway.  Can't even eat without one.

As you think of a fork and I point to the hoe.

Didn't need A.I. to come along and teach us that, though many using it for various purposes have yet to realize and probably won't notice until the day they learn the hard way: their life depends on it.

Hardly an advantage.  Just a new way to jump into the water then spin around the drain.  Still need to learn how to swim.

Boots are a great tool as well but when I put them on, I still want to be in control of where I'm going.  My footsteps are mine.  My footprints are mine.

Is that selfish?

So here I am at a crossroads, looking at those people over there.  Observing each one being seduced by a new set of tools, caving under peer pressure, then exchanging the freedom to be in control for a quick and easy fix.  Then changing entirely, forgetting who they were, while others notice a certain element or a spark they once had is now missing.  People sense it, feeling deprived of the creative energies once surrounding them; can't even trust what they see anymore.

Wait a minute...

A crack pipe is also a tool.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Dergozdanayborhoo.png
Dergozdanayborhoo

Have a nice day.

Credits:
Art and images seen here were produced digitally by me, using my mind and hands.
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"All the art is new, no I didn't use AI, and yes it took a long time."

© 2023 @NoNamesLeftToUse.  All rights reserved.

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I can be really clever sometimes so I'm dragging this out before I actually get serious.

I'm adding this line to my CV - it's sure to win over future prospective employers.

Human art man, there is no substitute and, as a person who remembers when AI didn't exist, I'd be happy to see it disappear. Mobile phones too, and electricity. Ok, so I have a long list, I'll not bore you with it.

I hope you're well mate, kicking goals, or just doing the best you can.

Employers will want to work for you with lines like that, dude.

There's a lot of shit out there that seems kind of off. Whatever though. That's my philosophy. Just do my own thing and they can do theirs.

A lot changed since I last tried to post, quite a few months ago. It's a bit eerie, really quiet. Took a bit of internal wall smashing to bring this out of me. Feels good.

This is true, but I guess I needed one such as yourself to point it out. Sometimes awesomeness must come from without rather than within.

I don't mind looking at an AI thing or two (images) but I'm not keen on people representing it as creativity. I'd rather look at the worst man-made creativity than the best AI though, you know? I'll not vote it here and I'll never use it myself. That's just me.

It's been really quiet here and what is getting around is recycled shit pitched a different way. The same old stuff. I guess that's because those who are onboarding come from places where not much goes on, or they don't have the means to do much. It's a little uninspiring, but I guess there's people who would say the same about my posts. Each to their own I guess.

It's good to see you putting a word or two together man, and it's great that it feels good for you. Get the momentum going...the feeling good momentum.

It would be difficult for me to give up and turn to automating much of the process. I spend the time because I enjoy doing it. It's the only thing I can zone out on for several hours and completely lose track of time. Again, I truly don't care what others are doing. Any time I see a crowd running towards something, I'm out. That's all the proof I need that it won't be for me.

I can see it be useful, especially to cut costs in entertainment production, like gaming development for instance. I didn't like those gigs anyway...

This space might be the only thing I have left so whatever. Make the best of it I guess.

You're right, there is a use-case for it but I think those producing it with the click of a button and then sitting back thinking, look what I have done are missing the point. My father made his living as an artist and to me, human-made art will always be the only art.

This space might be the only thing I have left so whatever. Make the best of it I guess.

I get it. This is my only social media and if I didn't write here I'd revert to writing purely for myself. I mean, I write here for myself but others see it. I'm working on a book at the moment, something the blockchain will never see, and that's very rewarding. No Ai permitted though. :)

I can agree with that; missing the point. For a personal brand like what I have, I don't see the point at all. And I took a thorough look into monetizing AI and especially when combined with NFT, and because of some shit going on, experts recommend one should talk to a lawyer first, to work out all the kinks. Why would I want that in my life... ?

I'm all about: Fuck the middleman. I'll do it myself.

And I still love writing. When I started up here, I thought writing would be my main focus, until I looked around and noticed art. But most of it was just photos of paintings and doodles. So I went into business mode and put on my entertainment goggles. And the rest is history... lol

Human beings can be so creative, it's what has got us where we are today, although it's questionable as to whether we're in a good place. That aside, our creativity, cognitive thought, has been what stands us apart from the beasts. Now people want to relinquish it? Yeah, pointless and probably quite dangerous. Just my opinion and what do I know? I'm not an AI super computer, just a flawed human.

And the rest is history... lol

An interesting (human) history, Me likey.

Was having a bit of a conversation about that under my previous post. I've been thinking about this stuff a lot. I can't see it stripping away much from people. Some people, sure. I'm not too concerned. AI images, whatever, I'm not too interested. That's just a toy. There are several other things in this world that could use the help though. Especially getting off this planet.

Wow. Both arts are amazing. Great work.

I have to confess I love your sense of humour. Though it is my first time reading you, I feel like I had known you.

Gosh, we would be great friends if you were in my world. Haha

Thanks. It's been a long time since I sat down and worked on something. Feels good to get it out of my system.

Glad you had a laugh as well. That makes me smile.

Feels good eh?? I love the sound of that. How about we make some great not-so-good meals 😂 whenever we get to meet? Just kidding. We are surely miles apart.

Yes, I did. Thank you !luv

I'm actually pretty good at making toast.

Well, here we go. Let's toast to that 😁

Cheers! And nice meeting you. You can be strange, but don't be a stranger.

Haha, I love those words. I am not planning on becoming the last word here.

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Hello @nonameslefttouse

For starters, interesting name you've got there, i can't imagine i literally read it out loud to myself😄

You are a very funny person, how you moved from goofing around to being serious is amazing

Thanks for making me simile😃

Was my pleasure. But I actually don't have a name. Someone took them all.

Lol to where if i may ask?🙃

Probably to their secret unnamed lair.

My WIP went down inflation highway at the part about $1 posters. Has it been 10 years already?! Dang man, seems like just yesterday them things were six bucks.

She pretty much spit when she said poster.

WIP = work in progress. Could probably clear that folder out in a day with beep boop, but then it would just be empty and a wouldn't have anything to show for it, except for some flukes I'd be embarrassed about.

Ten years is a long time until you look back on it.

Spitters suck.

OIC, Work in Progress. What happened was, I fell asleep to Training Day last night.

Don't worry. We're all a work in progress.

Hooray, I'm so glad to see you posting again!

Amateurs made it so there's nothing special about a selfie, aside from those spots on the mirror and maybe the toilet in the background. They'll work to make themselves look good, ruin it with standardized aftereffects, then settle for likes and digital happy face stickers pouring in from random creepers.

This made me laugh. So true.

My opinion on AI is that it's going to change things whether we like it or not and I don't think it will be entirely used for good, that's why I'm very anti.

I had this argument a little while ago with someone who turned out to have used AI to plagiarize posts and then dox someone on Hive. Shows the type of asshole, but their argument was exactly that - "it's a tool" but I think the bigger tool was actually her 🤣

I'm glad I managed to find some motivation. Made some laugh. That's always fun. Good when people can take a joke. At least clean the mirror first... lol

Bit of an exaggeration, sure.

I wouldn't call myself anti AI though. Not into fraud of course. Not even a little bit. A hammer is a tool as well and does a fine job. Becomes a problem when people start using the hammer to bonk people over the head though. All the issues stemming from AI will lead directly to people. So it's not the fault of an inanimate object. That's how I see it, for the most part. Life was never supposed to be easy and I think anyone selling that idea is full of shit, but again, that too leads to a human.

Years later one realizes those trials exist to push you, make you better, because you needed a good kick in the ass and a clean boot was the only thing they had that day.

THIS! Always this. Never forget everything is handed to you to learn if you look and listen.

SO HAPPY to see your post!! it made me smile! Thank You for that!

It's been a heck of a time for most that I know, me included, so never feel alone. Know you have friends that will listen!

and now I am fighting to keep my eyes open...I got new meds today...and I guess they make me tired! Much better for me than how I usually am with new stuff.

So I will come back in ?? 5 hours after a rest and read your post again while I smile and then leave you another comment if I can think of something witty enough :D

and my head almost hit the keyboard. Happy Friday to you!!

HUGS!

It's a good way to be. Given the whole thing a lot of thought, and I've probably said that a lot, because the thoughts don't stop. I see it's quieter than it's ever been here, so I should probably make some noise...

yes, you and your dark duck should make lots of noise! And yes, I slept all day. LOL

Dergozdanayborhoo looked like a duck in the shadows, but then he ate the green, and now he needs some help to get out of his shell. His blue eyes implore you to make him into a happy chick!

Or is he talking to me? You will have to let me know :D but he whispered to me how attached he is to you and how happy he was to be let out of the dark folder where .....it's too scary to contemplate.

Keep being YOU!

We all need to know someone like you!

I cannot speak for Dergozdanayborhoo. But it's cool you're a Dergozdanayborhoo whisperer. I'm happy to share in his excitement.

freakin A you did make a freak

Got my freak on.

mindfucked

Don't worry dude. It'll unfuck itself.

Lol 😂

There's an old Scottish saying that I find quite apt, from the seventeenth century or so - it goes like...

Fuck AI, it's shit

A lot to unpack from such a short sentence. But profound indeed.

Ps, that lady from the art gallery was a wank and a half! :0D

I've heard that said in many languages.

I wonder if Al thinks we're talking about him...

And yeah. One unforgettable wank. Didn't even offer me a drink after.

When AI wonders if you are talking about him it's time to run!!!

Did you know AI and Al are different? What's up with fonts these days?

Fonts schmonts. I refuse to use them. Notr any of this new fangled writing. I prefer to communicate through the medium of dance

I remember when Microsoft tried that...

Microsoft... The eternal ENEMY of man!

They seem to always make... bad moves.

I couldn’t read through this post with my full attention, I caught myself skimming through some words which is very unlike me, it’s like my brain is overloaded with so much words already, the artworks however caught my attention more, looking at Dergoz sort of eased me, I can’t really explain it but for some reason I appreciate the creativity behind it.

Yeah. It happens. Tried to read your comment but then, lost track of where I was, got distracted, felt like I was missing something, yet don't really know what, then I started thinking about other things, but already forgot what those are.

What were saying?

Exactly

Did you look closely at Dergozdanayborhoo? I don't know if anyone noticed, but I stashed a lot of things in there.

Yea I certainly did. I caught a pair of 3 boobs somewhere. Joking

There’s like a gnome meditating though, then an alien right untop of it directing or controlling it.

You def did stash a lot in it

LoL. "Boobs." Look closely at what eventually became blue eyes but in the first black and white version. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

And yes, there's a lot of hidden art within the art. Even at the top, those can be seen as arms carrying the eyes. Could write 1500 words describing that piece if I wanted but yeah, words, hard.

Look closely at what eventually became blue eyes but in the first black and white version. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Scrotum?? Ovaries? Lol sorry if I miss

I'll just let you figure it out.

PIZZA!

$PIZZA slices delivered:
@wrestlingdesires(8/15) tipped @nonameslefttouse

I’ve yet to try chat gpt and the like. Seen others use it though. Seems kinda like Pandora’s box, google on steroids, and I don’t like google much at all.

Seems to have created a new form of manipulation where the one being manipulated is actually manipulating themselves. But that would take an entire article to explain.

As I've said here, I've experimented a lot with Bing and that product or version of AI. And I've said elsewhere as well, for something like that, users engaging in that fashion are not going to the sites that depend on the clicks. So from there people have less incentive to create the new data the system depends on in order to stay relevant. In a way, it could potentially eat itself to death, or become stuck in the past.

It's not as quick as google though. Google already has "dergozdanayborhoo" which is my invention or, new thought.

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While Bing search chatbot hasn't caught up to me yet:

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So from there people have less incentive to create the new data the system depends on in order to stay relevant. In a way, it could potentially eat itself to death, or become stuck in the past.

Good point.

I read somewhere that the data being used for some of these AI systems stopped about a year ago or so. Probably though, the paid for versions use up to date data.

For some systems yeah, it's old already. When it's tied to a search, it needs humans to constantly feed it. I can easily get today's news on Bing. But it doesn't make the events happen.

It doesn't "think" the same way a human can. And when a human takes what's already known and part of the database AI is using to "think", then publishes something based on that information, to AI and technically humanity, that's basically like you've burped and puked a bit up, then swallowed it. AI images, same thing really.

As you think of a fork and I point to the hoe.

Yeah... unless one lives from wild plants, eating is almost always dependent on some tools.

A picture that still isn't finished.

It's funny, I instantly thought of it being green. Then I saw you did it in green at the end of the post 😲 I thought it would make a good relative to the Grinch!



I don't see AI as a threat to artists. It might be a threat to the sanity of curators though!

This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project

That's interesting. I never thought of being related to the Grinch, until now. Possibly distant relatives lol.

And yes, things are quite confusing now. If you suspect its art fraud, simply tell them their work sucks. You might not know what to look for in the reaction though, so that might not help you.

Leaps ("forward" is open to debate) are often great sorting mechanisms. They sort those who truly love what they are doing from those who are just in it for "the scene" or some other more superficial reason.

I remember meeting a ceramicist from Thailand who had studied with some of the great masters of both Japan and the west, and he was truly a wizard with porcelain clay... he'd moved to Seabrook, Texas and whereas he liked the US well enough, he was baffled by the obsession with both trends and artists copying his work. From his perspective, he just loved making pots. And they were beautiful pots. His standard answer to those who felt concerned that his work wasn't "in style" OR that people might copy him was simple: "They are welcome to try... it will take them 10 years to figure out how I do what I do, and by then I will hopefully have advanced ANOTHER 10 years. I don't care, I just love making pots."

Sorry, wandering a bit. But yes, we have to just show up as ourselves. AI is probably great for those who care about AI. Human generated art is great for those who care about human art.

=^..^=

Posted using Proof of Brain

That's what I picked up on after giving this whole thing way too much thought. If the market is gone, I'll just make a new one.

I'm the only one that can pull off my style, like a lot of humans with their styles. Not saying it's great, just saying it's mine. If people like it, awesome. If not, that's life. Not much I can do about it.

I'm curious about whether or not an AI develops a style? Human artists definitely do, and I know there will always be a need to create.

!LUV

In the current form I can tell its an AI image, but you can't really call that a style. It can mimic styles, or at least try to. It's not "smart" enough to have the desire to create its own.

It's not "smart" enough to have the desire to create its own.

At least not yet. It's not sentient yet either...