Maintaining Balance. It’s jsomething we could talk about forever. There are a lot of things that seem so easy to talk about and this is no exception. We could give a lot of methods on how to maintain balance for hours but then, we get knocked down, just one time and we get to see that it’s not so easy. So when it comes down to it, the pressure mounts and you’re at the edge of the cliff, how do you maintain balance?
I felt it all crashing about last week. And I knew then that with all my talk, I didn’t have it together at all. I was practically a preacher of proper balance maintenance but apparently, I failed with the level of strain I felt, physically and mostly, emotionally. I was trying so hard to make sure everything was running smoothly, striving for perfection in all the areas I was experiencing stress. It was like stacking cards on shaky ground. The foundation was already bad but I kept stacking and of course, it took one gentle breeze for everything to crumble down.
I had strained myself so hard till my emotional and physical elasticity snapped. I didn’t need a seer to tell me that I needed to slow down. I was already down on the floor. So, I mandatorily took a break from everything that was contributing to that strain for me. And Hive, of course, was one of them. At a point I could've hesitated, the accountant in me mentally ticking how farther I would be from the goals I’d set for myself and how much I’d stand to miss out on but I knew that I couldn’t possibly remain when even picking up a pen sounded like a dreaded chore.
So I knew I made the right decision. And then I decided to focus on all the things I’d stopped doing. The piled up books in my phone to read, movies to watch and food to eat. I froze all Hive-related apps, ceased all social media operations and stayed in bed, amusing myself with books and binging on fruits, mostly bananas which were straight from the backyard.
It was weird not writing something for Hive, especially since I’d written every single day for more than three months now. My body had already been programmed to that schedule and I could wake up from a nap suddenly and say, “Woah, I’ve not written anything for Hive today.” And then I’ll remember that I was supposed to be hibernating and smile and go back to sleep.
I wouldn’t lie. That little break made me happy. It’s like when you’ve been running on a treadmill and then you suddenly face the calm that comes with slowing down to a stop. It’s more than a little exhilarating and it made me relax my mind and just focus on taking care of myself and putting back that smile on my face that I didn’t even notice had ebbed away.
But I didn’t just relax. I made plans. Plans to ensure I didn’t have to go through such a breakdown again, at least not if I could help it. I needed to find ways to maintain that balance and so I started jotting down the things I’d been doing that had been detrimental to my health and better approaches to it.
First was, knowing when to STOP. Because whether we choose to admit it to ourselves or not, our body gives us signs when it’s getting strained and it’s no longer comfortable. But we choose to ignore it. Forging ahead and not giving care to it. I was very guilty of this and I knew that I had to learn to take a break. Stop for a bit and reflect on what was going awry.
Next, as it pertains to me, was not forgetting the things I loved. I guess part of that subconscious resentment stemmed from the fact that I’d completely alienated myself from the things I loved doing. My other hobbies asides writing. And this time I had made me reconnect and I felt a lot of peace doing it.
I’ve made a lot of mental notes on changes I need to implement in my life. Big on the list is taking life easily and living my life one day at a time. Bearing in mind that if I collapse in a bid to meet all those goals, I won’t still achieve them and end up losing even more.
I guess no one is under any obligation to slow down just because I said so but I promise, you’ll do yourself a great service if you calmed down sometimes. Breathe. And maybe you may not eliminate the things stressing you, but you’ll be calm enough to work it out. Rationally. And with a clear head. I can't be sure not to go through stress again but I'm determined to be better at dealing with it.
All images are mine.
Jhymi.🖤
