Bound for the Afterlife. Prompt #65

in #hive-17079817 days ago

Bound for the Afterlife

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“There is no need to kick, Sergio, he’s already been claimed for the afterlife.” He watched as Sergio lit a much sought after cigarette and forced himself not to ask for a drag.

God, a cigarette would be bliss.

But he prided himself on not being among the marauders; those armed with “shopping lists” going through the enemies’ homes and businesses on a mission to grab anything of value.

He looked down at the body; a boy of about twelve, maybe a little older with stubble just forming on his chin. A child of war, disposable, expendable; not really a life.

But his teeth chattered and he wanted to pee; he felt his bowels loosen.

“Oh, go ahead Andre, wet him, he could do with a little water.” The big man laughed; his humor resounding across the singed vista like an echo from reality.

Andre cringed.

Reality was no longer something recognizable, it was only a distant memory of feelings like empathy, sympathy and understanding.

Sergio whipped out a piece of sweat-stained paper and began reeling off a list of requirements.

“Andre, we need to look for Nike, I mean any Nikes, you understand, they’ll fetch a price. Damn, man, are you listening to me? We’ve also had communication about food - find it, destroy it or take it with you. The choice is yours, just don’t leave anything behind for “them”. We have a sacred mission: DEFEND THE MOTHERLAND.

Andre held his tears.

But then, in his peripheral vision he saw the boy’s eyelids flutter.

Jeez…

“Sergio, why don’t you follow me? I’ve seen a store down the road, filled to the brim with designer goods. Come on man, what are you waiting for?”

Sergio eyed him speculatively, then he decided to move.

Thank God...thank God!

Sergio flung his automatic over his shoulder and waited for directions. Andre led the way.

But Andre couldn’t help a backward glance.

The child had raised himself to his feet; he would make it to cover before Sergio could fire off a round.

Fortune smiled, bashful and beautiful! Andre saw the boy round a corner, out of harms way.

But Sergio had seen it, too. Andre saw comprehension dawn.

“Bastard, traitor.” Andre heard the words before he felt the vibration in the air; the bullet whirred, eerily.

His ears exploded with a crack as the bullet hit him.

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I agree, that's definitely going to be the afterlife as wars will leave not many options. Short and sweet!

No wars, just peace. That’s all we can beg 4

Nike is the root of all evil.

Wonderful premise and cracking story :)

Oh, go ahead Andre, wet him, he could do with a little water.”

This was a pretty insane line though. Damn, I hope it's not what I think it is...

Ahh... Wars can be tough. Also, just to be clear, Sergio didn't get the child right?

No, he got away

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what truly happened to the little boy?

We don’t know in the long run, but he did get away in this instance ❤️💕🤗

Hi @itsostylish. We love your writing, and your wonderful participation on The Ink Well community. Unfortunately, this story falls outside of our guidelines with the killing of a child. Normally in this cases, we have two choices to make: we mute stories that have extreme violence (which yours doesn't) or request edits. Would you mind making some edits on your story?

Please note our rule about violence in our rules at the top of The Ink Well community page. Thank you!

Please see the line below @theinkwell

The child had raised himself to his feet; he would make it to cover before Sergio could fire off a round.

No, the child does not get killed, he gets away. Sergio kills Andre (PS: I edited it to make this clear)

Sorry about the misunderstanding... but the point is about the killing. That's what we aim to have writers omit from posts in The Ink Well. You can read our stance on violence here. So in other words, moving the killing of someone from the boy to the narrator doesn't fix the issue. Hopefully our article on the topic will help explain.

Okay, @theinkwell, sorry to upset you. To be clear it was never in the story that the boy was shot, the intention, and the entire point of the story was that he got away.
In the edit it does not say that anyone wass killed, only that they were shot.
My apologies

Hi @itsostylish! Don't worry, no one is upset with you. We have attempted — with our rules and articles and regular pleas to our community — to prevent violence like rapes and shootings and so on from appearing in our community. It has been an absolute epidemic, and we had to set firm rules to prevent the situation from constantly being out of hand... and constantly having to face stories about people being brutalized and killed. It's just too hard to take, day in and day out.

So, that was the message above from @theinkwell. The request was that you remove the killing part from your story. It's your choice. Because the violence isn't terribly graphic, we won't mute your story. But we also won't curate it as is. (And now you know for the future!)

I’m so sorry @jayna
I really didn’t kill anyone
Right now we’ve got so many stories coming out about the war; I wanted to write an uplifting story about escape from violence.
I utterly respect your position and won’t make the same mistake again.
BTW, I’m so glad that you escaped the devastion of that tornado that, fortunately, passed you by. My friend was in a similar state of fear and did experience some rather horrific hail.
❤️💕🤗

Thanks @itsostylish!

So the narrator is hit with a bullet in the last line. That’s really the only thing I’m talking about in your story. 😁

sorry @jayna
Big hugs and luvs
🤗💕❤️

A really lovely way to personify fortune; the setting is minimal, but the words do enough to evoke a really desolate place of destruction. A lovely piece in 400 words. Exploring the duality of humanity - the empathy, in the absence of empathy in that place was really quite stark and all the more powerful.
Tim

Really glad that you liked ❤️💕🤗

This was very very good Stylish. You packed a lot into a small space. Nice tight cameo of humanity. !ALIVE !PIZZA
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