Image by GraphicsSC from Pixabay
“So, yeah, Cousin Melvin, I can put that beat with all this footage – all you need is to get your dad to go in and say “Hashtag: Side Hustle” in a deep voice, and we are off to the races!”
Thomas Stepforth Sr. was eavesdropping in the background on the conversation between his two “thousandaire” grandsons, nine-year-old Vertran Stepforth and 21-year-old Melvin Trent … the billionaire was just tickled by his two moguls-in-training in the digital age.
“Well, if I can get Capt. Ludlow in here, that man's voice is nothing but super bass – not that there's anything against your Uncle Vincent's voice, but they ain't NEVA heard anything like R.E. Ludlow.”
“Let me talk to Capt. Ludlow, Cousin Melvin – you get the studio set up, and I'll talk to him about the business part.”
Twenty minutes later, Melvin's sister 11-year-old Velma Trent had gotten 11-year-old Eleanor Ludlow to put her grandfather on the phone, and the grandfather was bewildered.
“You mean to tell me you folks are just making money with loops of drum beats and phrases, and you can show me the Ludlow share of it?” he said to Vertran. “I tell you what, young man – I'm not sure I understand or even believe, but as a salesman, you can be hired into the Ludlow Bubbly now!”
“Look, Capt. Ludlow, seriously – a voice like yours?” Melvin said. “You never really have to leave your house – you just set up a room as a studio, and you are a rich man. Announcing on commercials, audiobook reading, video game tracks, recording songs – or, you could rent out my room for a reasonable price and not even have to worry about any of that. But you don't have to believe it. We just need you to say, 'Hashtag: Side Hustle' like the man used to say 'Mission: Impossible' on the original show.”
Capt. Ludlow smiled, a memory coming back.
“I was a radio announcer in high school,” he said. “I was much beloved, but didn't take it seriously.”
“You're still 18!” his seven-year-old granddaughter Amanda piped up. “Just with 40 added with it!”
Capt. Ludlow looked down, picked her up, and kissed her.
“Thank you, my darling,” he said. “For this occasion, that is the right way to think about it.”
Capt. Ludlow put Amanda down, took the voice recorder from Melvin and went into his garage for a little while, and then came back.
“I did three takes,” he said. “Use whatever one works for you.”
Melvin's sister eight-year-old Gracie came out of the house, carrying a sheaf of paper.
“Vertran's business manager just sent the paperwork!” she said, and Capt. Ludlow started laughing.
“You all are serious!” he said.
“Yep,” Melvin said. “See, what we are doing is a video announcing side hustles online and off that are still available to young people during the pandemic, so we need a release so your grandchildren can be shown skipping across the yard with my sisters, and we need to cut you in on 20 percent of the profit from the YouTube and Threespeak monies we estimate will be coming from that video once it goes viral.”
Vertran's “business manager” was his father, the bewildered but steady Major Thomas Stepforth Jr., who did as he often did at times like this: he called Melvin's father, his brother-in-law Sgt. Vincent Trent.
“Your nephew Vertran has been working on this video for two weeks,” the major said to the sergeant, “but when he saw your daughters and their Ludlow friends skipping sideways across their yards, he said it all came together. Your son Melvin's beat is, as the kids say, 'fire.' ”
“Nope,” Sgt. Trent said, “That's 'fye.' ”
Just then, Capt. Ludlow's voice, enhanced to become a wave of warm, inviting authority, boomed from Melvin's studio: “Hashtag: Side Hustle.”
“That's it!” Vertran started saying in the background. “We're about to have 100 million views, man! Send me just that real quick, and I'm going to use that as a short to promote the full video – and even that is going to pay because nobody is going to get enough of that!”
“Oh,” Melvin said. “I see why you covered incidentals in the contract – Pop-Pop always says to do that.”
“Exactly,” Vertran said. “We have to make sure there are no arguments, no pools of money out there people feel cheated out of, because arguing wastes time and money – but get that Ludlow clip over here!”
Somewhere in the background, Sgt. Trent could hear Thomas Stepforth Sr. laughing merrily.
“Do you ever feel like we re just here to facilitate them taking over the world?” Maj. Stepforth said.
“Man, look, your father went on and told me he just let me marry your sister Melissa so he could continue taking over the 21st century through more grandchildren!” Sgt. Trent said. “There's no secret here! I hear Pop-Pop's 'Mwahahahahahahahahaha!' on Melvin's tracks and in the tracks of my nightmares, too! It is what it is, Tom!”
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