Punday Monday 298!

improv in #hive-155986 • last year

Welcome to Punday Monday!

tl;dr

Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is Nerves!
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 2 HSBI for a win), your pun must be your original work
Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...

OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?

How’s THIS:

Best Pun...
Best Pun of the Entire Week...
Best Overall Pun (click it)...

DRUMROLL PLEASE…..

@freecompliments

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Nerves
As in
How do I know the original poster is nervous? I can see it with my OP tick nerve.

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

Related Content:

@freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
https://bit.ly/improvonpopin to join me on a gaming app where I host funny trivia on Sunday nights, and Spades, Hearts, and Liar’s dice on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday

#puns #marlians #neoxian #creativecoin #palnet #lolz #fun #contest #funny #proofofbrain

last year in #hive-155986 by improv

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freecompliments last year

A case study:

Steve comes to his doctor's office with neurological symptoms.

The doctor takes a piece of dust and drops it on the floor. Steve doesn't react.

The doctor then spills some of his coffee on the floor. Steve doesn't react.

The doctor then asks the patient to go into the restroom, where he lifts the toilet seat. He then asks Steve to come back to his office.

Steve asks, "Doctor, why are you doing these things?"

The doctor says, "every single day, my wife tells me this is how I test her nerves."

freecompliments last year

This was a joke I wrote for my medical colleagues a few years ago. 😊

quinnertronics last year

My wife says that shopping calms her nerves. "It's an impulse," she says!

itwithsm last year

Why did the husband carry his wife over the threshold?
Because he wanted to make a good first impression on his furniture!😄😅😆

quinnertronics last year

Every month or two, I try to throw a couple Xanax in my gas tank...I wanna make sure my car doesn't have a nervous breakdown!

freecompliments last year

Ooh, this is a good one. 😁

freecompliments last year

Bob had his hand chopped off in a workplace accident, and brought the remains of it with him to the hospital. The neurosurgeon offered to try to salvage his hand: "We'd have to reconnect absolutely all of the tissue in the hand, including muscle, fascia, blood vessels, nerve, and skin. We have to examine whether it's even possible to reconnect all of these parts. There's no guarantee that this will work, and it's a risky procedure, but you have to decide right now while the tissue is still alive."

Bob agreed to try it out. The neurosurgeon rushed Bob into the operating room and placed him under a live CT scan to examine where to reconnect the tissues. After carefully looking at the remains of Bob's hand, the neurosurgeon said, "I'm sorry Bob. After careful examination of your hand, it turns out I just don't have the nerve to do this."

improv last year

Now that's a shaggy dog story! (my favorite kind of joke)

0.00 VYB

freecompliments last year

A shaggy dog story that ended with a bit of pun-demonium! (I apologize for that travesty)

Now that I know your favorite kind of joke, of which I have dozens, I have no reason to be nervous about winning. OK, I'm done for now, I promise.

freecompliments last year

Dr. Klutzenschtein, a renowned neurosurgeon who has a predilection for being clumsy outside of his surgeries, is about to perform a decompression surgery for Mr. Rabblerouser's carpal tunnel syndrome. Carpal tunnel syndrome is a compressed nerve within the hand which causes pain and tingling, and decompression would release the trapped nerve, relieving the pain.

Casually leaning on Mr. Rabblerouser's bed, Dr. Klutzenschtein asks him, "So, how are you doing Mr. Rabblerouser? Are you ready for the surgery?"

With an angry expression, Mr. Rabblerouser states "I'm irritated!"

"Why?" asks the doctor.

"Your elbow is on my hand and it's getting on my nerves!"

freecompliments last year

@tikki00taffi thank you kindly for your vote. 😊

Tagging you here to let you know that I just edited this joke for better phrasing. I've found this happens quite frequently when I write them!

tikki00taffi last year

All Good! Great joke!

0.00 VYB