I don't know where to start. I don't know if I should begin by talking about my childhood and the traumas I still carry today, or if I should start by discussing my anxiety and the suspicion that I might have a borderline personality disorder, or if I should begin by saying that the majority of people I know, exactly 90% of the people I know and interact with, seem to have some mental issues.
Well, not knowing where to start, I'll let my intuition guide me because I have strong reasons to believe it will work. After all, we're already here in the second paragraph, so let's begin.
I had a complicated childhood. I can't and don't want to go into details here because it would hurt me. But imagine what a complicated childhood would be for you... Did you imagine? Probably some of the negative characteristics you thought of, I experienced in my childhood. And it messed up my heart, my friend, it really messed it up.
Being an only child until age 13 and mainly interacting with adults, I matured early. The feeling I have is that I always had a mind older than my age. And of course, that wasn't for no reason. I always had a mind older than my age because I had to deal with things that a child shouldn't have to. The consequence of a difficult childhood was a difficult adolescence, but now, in adulthood, with the knowledge I have about my mind, it's a little easier to live.
Around the age of 18, I delved deep into self-discovery. Today, 11 years later, I can say that there's still a lot about myself that I need to learn. The journey of self-discovery is not quick because even when you know yourself well, along the way, you can surprise yourself with behaviors and emotions that you don't know where they came from, you don't remember, but you need to dive in search of the answer. Because to truly know yourself, you need to have the will, you need to have the courage to see your ugliest side and not feel hatred towards yourself, you need to have the courage to see your most fragile side and not feel pity for yourself. But if you hate yourself and feel sorry for yourself, those are some of the first signs that you need help.
Therapy is essential to align our emotions and perspectives. There are things about ourselves that we cannot see, but someone from the outside can, and through this, they can guide us to a new perspective on life, a situation, or even ourselves. Sometimes, medication is necessary to achieve balance. But we shouldn't feel bad about it because some issues are biological. For example, someone with borderline personality disorder has their prefrontal cortex functioning differently than "normal" individuals. As a result, some characteristics of borderline individuals include being highly intense, easily experiencing fear, getting easily irritated, and being prone to panic attacks or depression due to difficulties in regulating these emotions. After addressing the biological factors, the next step is to explore the mind and emotions, and things need to follow this order because how can someone treat themselves if they biologically need repair?
(On the left side, a healthy brain; on the right, a person with borderline)
Step off the island to see the island.
Sometimes, we fail to see how much we need help because we don't distance ourselves from the environment that makes us feel bad. It's not always as simple as physically leaving the place you're in to gain an outside perspective because sometimes what we need is to step out of ourselves, to see ourselves as we truly are, to realize how much we are harming ourselves and those around us with our behavior. It takes courage to seek help, but it is also an act of love. Taking care of our mental health means that we care about those we interact with, whether it's family, friends, or coworkers. But beyond that, it means that we love ourselves enough to take care of who we are.
