It will be my birthday in a matter of minutes, and here I am acting like there's really nothing special approaching, but is there? Yes! A very special day is approaching for me.
It's interesting how I can audaciously claim that the 4th of November is special to me. I wasn't always like this. True, maturity has a way of changing one's perspectives about life. I wasn't really big on marking special days. I used to see it like any other day.
I remember an occasion that testifies to how careless I was about birthdays; my sister once called me on November 24, saying, "Happy birthday." I was confused and almost replied, "I wish you the same." To be honest, I said that before realising that I'd messed up. I quickly corrected myself and told her thanks. I was that bad. I've lost friends and loved ones because I didn't call them to give them good wishes on their birthday.
The closest female friend I had at the time once called on the evening of her birthday. She was like, "What's today's date?" I went mute. I honestly had no answer. I didn't know it was her birthday, even after she might have told me several times. She called again later at night and said, "Today is my birthday; many people I don't hold in high esteem called, but you didn't; it shows that I'm not important to you." I pleaded. I was forgiven. But that was the beginning of the end of whatever we had and might have had.
You see, my own birthday was more special to my sister than it was to me. I was that odd. I'm still odd, though, but I have reduced the oddity in many aspects.
Is it just maturity that changes my perspective on birthdays? No! The discovery of purpose did it. I can't really say that I have perfectly figured out my unique purpose on earth; however, it's a discussion I like holding. I love pondering over it, and I love gathering people to re-evaluate their lives and re-think their purpose on earth.
I started putting up events where I'll speak in a bid to cause people to have a sincere discussion with themselves so they could reassess and re-evaluate their ideals. Those meetings yielded so many results. People were motivated to begin things they'd often procrastinated over.
I wouldn't be having such a meeting tomorrow. But I've got to realize how special that day is.
For one, whenever my birthday approaches, the level of my self-awareness and sensitivity is at its highest—I usually become more philosophical. My energy increases as well.
Being self-aware led me to remember that we're not here for a lifetime, but for a reason. We won't be here forever. It's not just us. Nothing is forever. We usually wish that every good thing lasts forever. The truth is, they won't. No matter how long they last, if life's circumstances don't separate them from us, death will. Death will either separate it from us or separate us from it. To me, it isn't really about how they last or how we last, but about the quality of life we lived while they lasted or while we lasted.
I've resolved to kill fear as much as I can. I've resolved to stop trying to be perfect. I've resolved to be invested in every moment. I've resolved to make every little thing count. I just want to live while I live.
You will likely be reading this on my birthday. Say a prayer for me.
Image used, is mine.
