A little different, a lot the same. Looking deep.

in #hive-1503293 months ago

Yesterday, I wrote about a culture that I couldn't stand. I'm sure by the end of the post it became clear that I wasn't talking about a nationality...but rather, the culture of superiority. There is nothing quite as offensive as a human being that puts him/herself as higher than another human being. It's divisive, hateful, prideful, caustic, degrading, and downright evil. It is the beginning of every war, and the continuation of every abuse.

Before you begin to think, "Well, that's not me! I can't possibly be lumped in with this culture of superiority" - I'd like to challenge you a little.

I'd like you to ask where you are different, and then shake you a bit with this... "Do you think that makes you BETTER?" If you answer yes, pause and consider if it's possible that you might have a touch of superiority that needs shaving away. If you answer no ..lol, pause and consider that you might have to look a bit deeper.

When I was a little girl, I didn't know I was different. Everywhere I looked, different was in my household, so my different was the norm; "different" was standard and therefore..same.

But at some point, I realized - I was not the same as my friends. They actually seemed "same", and I was different. But, that was ok, because different was still equal, wasn't it?

I looked at their skin color and to me ..it seemed same enough. Light skin, light hair, light eyes. This was so different than my different skin, different hair, different eyes. Surely, they looked at each other and saw same? Felt equal? Had peace?

And then ... more realization hit.

When they spoke, they differentiated further than skin color- hair color- eye color. They broke into nationalities and languages and customs and gender and faith and politics and economics - and even though they looked same to me, they claimed one was better and one was worse.

It became incredibly clear.

There were levels, there was inequality, and somewhere in the mix- I myself was much lower on the totem pole. I didn't challenge my superiority; there were too many of them. I was clearly in the wrong and inferior, because I was the minority. I was the lesser. I was the different.

How do you define yourself?

Think of all the things that make you who you are. Go beyond your reflection in the mirror. Because as I just stated, people can look similar on the surface, and even have the same customs, country, and culture and still have a lot of other deeper differences that make them "better than".

I actually hope that the comment section doesn't become a place for people to start waving around their differences. We know we have them, it's really not necessary to acknowledge them publicly. It's much harder to acknowledge the same. So...let's try the harder approach. Let's acknowledge and evaluate our own differences internally, and consider them privately... but find ways to connect with the same that is deeper down in each person we meet each day. The same that you see when two babies play beautifully together before the world informs them of its "rules".

But babies grow, selfishness sets in, and "me first" mentality begins to thrive. Baby's first words are usually the cultural derivatives of "dada, mama, and MINE." This is one of our sames. I wonder what the world would be if we changed that same to "Here, it's yours."

What a game-changer that would be. It equalizes everything. Put the other first. The end.

Humility. Grace. Wisdom. Love. Joy.

If I try to just be a "good person" I know my rotten will show up for the party instead. So I'm instead going to try to let those five above lead my heart. Spoiler alert: I'm going to fail miserably. Still, my goal is to cling to them, fresh and new every day. For those who would like to join in, I truly believe we will be in the best place to speak peace if we adopt this mindset, heartset and soulset.

The big secret.

Know what I've noticed? There are a lot of hurting people here on Hive. Yes- in the world, but specifically on Hive. We are a mess. I think that is actually part of the draw, the reason it resonates. In a world that is becoming deaf and blind, we have discovered a place to be heard and seen. Your mess finds my mess, connects and sings. Beyond borders and boundaries, we link on a much deeper level. A lot of people are tired of feeling invisible and dismissable, and the angriest here are usually the ones hurting the most. When you see them lashing, and you WILL see them, maybe consider these two options: walk away for a bit in peace or speak gently.

A warning...

Humility as a weapon.

Oh yes it can be used as a weapon. When you start to become "so good at being humble" that you want to wield it against others and passive aggressively "guide and teach" others how to be humble like you - it's actually exactly the opposite of humility and becomes a weapon. Try....try your best to resist this. If you feel it tugging you, just pause, breathe, rest, and come back to that person when you're actually BACK into that peaceful soulset. (For me, this is where I pray! lol)

Guard your hearts and minds moving forward, because I do think that something special can be here for all of us. We already showed we could #leadwithgenerosity with @unklebonehead, we had a #LOVElution with @ecency, and now I think we are primed to flow into the opportunity to #speekpeece. Fun tags, for sure! And I love me some fun!!! lol But maybe they can be more than that. Maybe they can be our true soulset?

So what's the community!

Two months ago, it just so happens that this particular community (that I will announce very soon . lol don't worry... its coming) asked for DreemPort to collaborate. We always give the next month available - and that was October It's very interesting to see the timing! And how perfectly everything continued to work out. I'm super excited to reveal this community.... but not today. Soon. Until then, have fun being a pirate hunting for treasure! Be silly. Giggle. Spread joy.



All images were mine or used from sources that allow their beautiful work to be displayed on commercial blogs. They do not require attribution, but I do so willingly so allow my readers to know that I write and blog with integrity ❤️ Also, their work is beautiful! Just because they don't ask for acknowledgement, doesn't mean I shouldn't give it! Thank you photographers!



All images were used from sources that allow their beautiful work to be displayed on commercial blogs. They do not require attribution, but I do so willingly so allow my readers to know that I write and blog with integrity ❤️ Also, their work is beautiful! Just because they don't ask for acknowledgement, doesn't mean I shouldn't give it! Thank you photographers!


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This was beautiful, through and through ... you have always been a model of what you want to see in the world!

I appreciate this @deeanndmathews - sometimes I am not sure if I'm even expressing things properly - or just all traffic-jammed inside my head with too many thoughts and lots of emotion and tons of frustration. lol I'm so glad that it somehow did make it onto a post without too much confusion. (I think I might just need a good night's rest and then feel new tomorrow. lol) Sending love to you, my sweet friend ❤️

Love you too, my friend ... have a good night!

As we look in the mirror, we could see a direct reflection of ourselves but when we go deeper, there is an inner feeling and emotion that silently views life with a little difference, and that is only figured out through comparison. I all agree with your inspiring words dear friend @dreemsteem .

Perhaps we may be similar in so many ways but in various aspects we are uniquely different. I greatly believe that through cultural difference, we could still have the chance to embrace unity as we respect each other through humility. Humility is key. When we know and learn how to be humble, we would be able to have a compassionate heart that is very willing to care for, love, and understand differences.

As what I always say that we are born to be imperfect, but that does not limit us to be humble at all times. The more we are humble in life, the more gracious we are in life, based on my personal opinion.

Despite the presence of people who are full of pride and sarcasm, what is more important is the chance to live freely with a humble heart. It always feels so good to treat others nicely despite a difference in culture. And that you are uniquely different with a humble heart my dear friend, @dreemsteem.

This is another beautiful and interesting content from you. Have a great day.

Hi sweet sister ❤️

I'm just about to log off for the night - hehe and before I did, I saw your lovely comment. Thank you for putting your heart into that and sharing it with me! You said it - humility. this is the key.

When we truly understand that (and I can't say that I fully do - but I want to!!!) the air around us changes! hehe I have been around people that are so beautiful to see because of their tender humility. it makes me just want to be in their presence!

not the fake humility that people wear like badges. But the stuff that radiates and warms. That is a real gift from God to have.

I hope you have such a lovely morning as I'm ending my evening. hehehe

Goodnight sweet sister!

I always enjoy reading your contents dear friend @dreemsteem as they are all written from a humble heart. Perhaps the pleasure is mine. Have a good night sleep. Good morning from my side. Keep safe and God bless your humble heart.

The world will be a much better place if we all accept our differences and co-exist among each other with peace being the major goal.

I'm kinda getting a short form tip about the name of the community for octerber. I won't say it but would love to be proved wrong soon.

oh -interesting.. hehe you want to be proved wrong??? hmmmm I wonder why that is?? LOL now you have me very curious!

It's wasn't the community per se that stirred this theme... but people in the community expressing some of the things that were happening in their lives - and what they were seeing in their environment - and I realized... we are all really in that same place. So often we think we are going through something alone, when often - we are having very similar experiences all over the world - and more united than we think! :)

There are a lot of hurting people here on Hive. Yes- in the world, but specifically on Hive.

And yet, as far as I've noticed, Hive is still the most friendly environment on the internet I ever found.

I never bothered posting or commenting on the internet, the hate speech and trolls were everywhere. And people kept feeding them, it was a terrible sight.

I have faith in Hive, I believe it is my sanctuary from those people. Hopefully that will never change.

it hasn't for me for over 5 years.

good morning my lovely!

Morning!!

Deep question........ Do you want to marry @guiltyParties and help raise his 3 girls?

Capture.JPG

I do!

LOL Send me the video of him proposing!!!! I need a little joy today! ROFLLLLLLLL

I often wonder if these kinds of ponderings circulate through the ether. I've actually been thinking about a similar topic myself, recently. Or maybe they are things that we all experience in life and they come to mind now and again.

Before you begin to think, "Well, that's not me! I can't possibly be lumped in with this culture of superiority" - I'd like to challenge you a little.

I was discussing something around this with my mum, recently. My belief is that we instinctively all compare ourselves to others to try and find somewhere that we can be superior. The tough part is recognising that in ourselves when we do it in order to bring ourselves back to reality. I often say that at our basic level we are just animals and this seems to upset some people. I think my mum thought I was making excuses for people's behaviour, because we are intelligent enough to overcome animalistic tendencies. Which is exactly my point. We need to be humble enough to recognise that we are not automatically superior in order to be able to correct harmful behaviours. Also, recognising where and why those behaviours have served us in our survival and evolution can help us to change them.

Humilty as a weapon

I may be going out on a different tangent to what you're thinking here, but oh gosh, these past few years have been an eye opener in this regard! I've been amazed at just how many people have been honing it as a weapon. It's like they've been having master classes in gaslighting!!

I agree - I think there are collective seasons that we experience together that stir up similar feelings and movements all over the world. It's no surprise, i suppose! LOL We all just experienced something together as an entire globe at the same time... and that hasn't happend since 100 years prior?? 75? Not many in this generation had experienced something like that in their entire lifetimes.

But yes, we are longing for that pendulum to swing back - I think. hehehe

As far as superiority - I agree. I don't think it necessarily stems from wanting to be better than someone? I think it more stems from "I'm not as bad as this person." or "My situation isn't as bad as that person."

That comparison that you brought up - is more like... if someone is worse off than me - then, maybe I'm not so bad.

And then it's a slippery slope, isn't it LOL Because then we like feeling like we're not so bad and want to find others, and then we ARE feeling superior. We don't handle balance very well as human beings, do we? lol

I m ean... why doesn't our mind go to..."hey this person is doing worse than me, let me help lift them up to me."

right? LOL Well - I think that's going to be the goal of october. part of it anyway. look at that - i might have a part 3 brewing now. hahaha

Thanks for coming and talking and sharing. I love comment sections for this reason!!! it's where the real connection and interaction happens!!! :)

We don't handle balance very well as human beings, do we?

We really don't do we! We seem to prefer gravitating towards extremes. Life is simpler if there is only right or wrong, left or right. It gets to murky and hard to acknowledge all the other nuances.



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thank you @poshtoken and @stdd!

No one can understand you if they haven't been in a similar situation (growing up in it since childhood). And I'm not going to lie that I do. I just see how people treat " different " people, it's gross... We're all "different", it's time to admit it and stop ruining each other's lives and nerves... Humility! Oh, how hard it is. But how it works when you are sincere! Tested it on myself.
!LUV 🙌💛🙌💙🙌

It is impossible to empathize with someone unless we have been there.

But thankfully - we can still SYMPATHIZE with people and be compassionate and help to grow each other :)

I'd love to hear about how you tested it on yourself! heheh

It happened a few times, but after the first time, I knew it worked. When a person throws insults or fists at you (but not yet), I was reminded that responding back would get me nowhere. But I was seething a lot myself at the time. I exhaled, made a bitter smile of understanding, and said that I understood everything. It was sincere. Because I really saw the man's pain. Every aggressive person is in terrible pain. And it doesn't matter how wrong he is at the moment. That pain is genuine, which he can't cope with and doesn't know what to do with. If you sincerely understand it, you get on his wavelength. You see the bewilderment in his eyes at first, and then even sympathy sometimes. After all, he hasn't seen such a reaction from anyone before most of the time. This is a world that is not in his mind. But this world is there! It's in my mind. And it's beautiful just because of that...

Thank you for asking that question! I really needed to get it out.)
Stay !ALIVE 💛❤️🧡💙

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You are so unique. You have a lot of experience in life. Just enjoy what you truly like, be yourself and don’t let anyone tell you who you should be.
God bless you dear friend.

Good morning my beautiful friend!!

I need to come visit you today! Your photo masterpieces always bring me such joy!!! hehehe Here I come to see you!

I like to think that I'm not any more superior than anyone else. But if I say that it makes me a better person because of that, does that then make me superior? Thats an interesting question that I think I will leave to the philosophers and those who know more than I, lol.
But I do know about humility. I can be humble quite a bit. I prefer to be humble and just sit back and let others take the limelight. I like to feed off of their pride and enjoyment. I think it has something to do with being a parent. There is no feeling like watching your child accomplish things that you couldnt ever accomplish. I get the same feeling watching other people accomplish things.
Perhaps we should start a #leadingwithhumility tag? LOL!

I know you have noticed that I kind of slipped away into the background the last month or so. Part of it was medical and part of it was it felt weird getting the notoriety. I'm no stranger to having my name on a screen or voice on a podcast. But it felt both good and empowering to me. That I created a hashtag that went somewhere. And everybody kept associating me with it. Thats not at all what I wanted. Thats what made it weird for me. The recognition should go to the person using the tag at that specific time. The act of generosity is what needs to be remembered, not me.
One of the my biggest faults about myself is that I try to do too much all at once. In my younger years I know that just came with my inability to deal with patience. If I want something I want it right now. I dont want to learn how to do it. I want the end result now. Now in my older years it feels like that has ramped up even more. Since I know that time here in this world is so short. I want to do everything right now. Because there may not be a tomorrow. So I'm still in the same boat unless I can make a change and just slow down instead of speeding up.

On a side note, somebody's gonna say it so it might as well be me.
Your mom is smokin!!!!!!!!

hehehehe yes - I did know that you had slipped away, but that is always ok with me. I also need to slip away at times. And honestly - I think everyone should! hehehe

I had tagged you once or twice in the @ecency discord - but that was just tell you hi and I noticed you were missing and that you were loved! hehehe

And - I do understand about not wanting the light on you for that tag. I didn't view it as a negative at all - I loved what you did, and I loved that you brought something at that time that will be forever remembered (in my mind at least hehe) It's just about honoring the people involved and sending them a little "hug" every time I speak their name! hehehehe

If you'd like me to stop tagging you - I certainly will though. Because I know that sometimes it can just feel off. And I don't want that for you! So you tell me if you would rather I just use the tag in the future.
But rest assured - if your name gets tagged by me... it's always with a hug and a smile - nothing more, nothing less hehehehe

I'm the same as you with patience. God has been teaching me so much about patience these two years. Because, I too - seem to have ramped up the "Are we there yet?" mentality. hahahaha Probably you're right - that it comes from being more than halfway (i guess) through life? And feeling like time is much shorter and we want to see the results before it's too late to fully enjoy them> haahahaha

that would be my guess - but.... I have learned in the last 2 years (especially) that patience is TRULY a virtue that comes with so many blessings. and that rushing never accomplished anything extra in my life, except stress. hahaha

it all comes down to faith I think for me. that if I trust that God is doing something, and I'm being faithful to be diligent with what He's given me - then I can trust that I'm not gonna "miss the boat" and that ultimately His timing is perfect! hehehe That's what my major focus has TRIED to be. Learning, applying, re-learning, re-applying LOLOLOL

my mom....
she is 68 now - and she is probably even more gorgeous now. The woman should sell her genetic material!!! hahahahahaahahah

Love you! and hope you are feeling well all around!!!

It all sounds so easy and achievable until you actually try. Well, now that I think bout it, trying, i.e. being intentional about it could actually make it seem achievable. But then again, I don't see much people even willing to try, or self-aware enough to. Yet again, it will take people like us who try probably because we've come across posts like this to encourage and inspire others to try too. kudos! The culture you speak of is indeed an undesirable one.

hmmm i just said this in another comment too hehehe
so easy to say it.

so impossible to do it. LOL

and yet, we can just be thankful that we still do SEE and SAY it. cuz that is somethig right?

i mean - the moment we truly give up - and just throw our hands up in defeat - that is the true failure.

so... we try :)

thanks for your comment!

😀
Well said. You're most welcome.

Firstly, I have to say that this is a beautiful photo... I told you so already, but it's such a happy one🤗 And my gosh, you are such a cutie pie too, hehe 💗 quite adorable, Ms. Dreems...

Now, on to the rest...

hmm... it's quite a conundrum, isn't it? No matter how hard we try, when faced with attitudes that make us feel uncomfortable, we struggle to be measured enough to restrain ourselves verbally or with our outward actions, and the result is that whether internally withheld, or externally expressed, we do feel that we are behaving better, being the better person. And then it becomes more about the self than about addressing the break in equilibrium. And as you so rightly say, we should be looking to do everything we can to raise the other person up, in a way that is not demeaning, patronising or unkind.

Humility. Grace. Wisdom. Love. Joy

What beautiful words and values to live by. They speak to the heart because they are of the heart and I believe that the connections I have with most people that I am close to, are forged because our hearts speak a similar language and that is the sameness that I strive for when I reach out to people. I want to see their hearts and listen to them... and when hearts meet in the same place, any differences perceived or otherwise do not adversely impact the relationship. I do think that it is possible to celebrate people's unique qualities without bringing out an air of superiority too, it just needs to be done by keeping love at the centre and radiating out from there... and as you say, allowing these beautiful attributes to lead.

!LUV !PIZZA

thank you hehehe yes i love that picture too

just soaking in your words here. i'm reaading them and nodding, and then thinking of how many times i don't apply these things that i actually believe,.

you know?
like - WHAT is that. what gets in the way??

i already know the answer. Every time - it is us. We get in the way.

I'm so intimidated for this next month hahaha. I feel like saying - here is what we're going to attempt to do. Do not - whatever you do - do NOT follow me. LOLOL laughing -b ut SO SERIOUS.

i just - seriously - had a meltdown today the likes of which is... so absolutely ridiculous and said things that weren't mean.. but were just so unnecessary. you know? and why? cuz me. me. me.

it is so hard to truly put someone else first, isn't it? cuz the FIRST reaction that mounts is... BUT IF I DO THAT WHAT WILL IT DO TO MEEEEEEEEE.

lol

it's like...enough to just make you throw your hands up and quit. deep sigh.

You should not feel intimidated because...

It's not about you...

see? problem solved 😂

Somebody beautiful and wise shared that with me... in similar if not the same words ;-)

All we can do is plant the seed in a conducive environment... then He takes over. Because it is about allowing ourselves to be an instrument in His hands...

and so, we can be an instrument of His peece. And He won't fail.

We may not see the results straight away... but every step we take will be a positive one...and we all need to learn a little patience, right?

I'm sorry you had a tough day... it happens to all of us... nobody is immune. But I hope that you feel God's presence for the rest of today cos I sure prayed long and hard.

I love you! We all do. Now... let's go plant and nurture those seeds 💗

!LUV !hivebits !ALIVE

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You've spoken so well Dreemie, some times we have to let go of saying the things that makes us so different instead we rather focus on what we have in common (same).

You are making me so excited for the upcoming challenge and I know it will be awesome, I'm just going to wait Patiently and those hashtags are really beautiful ones with beautiful memories as well.

Can't wait to #speekpeece, hehehe.

hehehe yes... the post comes tonight for announcing the community, and then we will see what we have in store. I hope we're all looking forward to it, and ready for what changes in our heart will come :)

Oh that's cool, I'm waiting Patiently for it. How was the meeting, hope everything went well?

we've had this conversation before, and I guess I still struggle with the concept of different.

How are we to celebrate diversity, if we cannot embrace that we're all different?
I don't want a world filled with *Blond-Haired, Blue-Eyed clones"

One thing I've learned over the past few years of Welcome Wagon, SpunkeeMonkee, UU, and now DreemPort is that each of these new people I meet opens my eyes to more wonder on this tiny planet.

I agree. and if anything that doesn't make me feel bigger - or superior. but so much smaller and so much more dependent on every other living creature here on this planet.

too much same leads to extinction. we need different too
love

I have no idea what to say as my mind is just buzzing so much, so I will jus...go onto the comment! 😭😭😭😭

LOL mine too lady. mine too

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hehehe thanks buzzy bee :)

You're welcome @dreemsteem! Have a nice day 😊👍

You're welcome @dreemsteem! Have a nice day 😊👍

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Everyone is different ... it's not something I really get any concern about. I only care about what is in a person's heart and how they behave.

that's right... and i love different. and i love same . hehehe

i love it all :)

Great one!

thanks so much!

And here you go @mrprofessor - here is part 2 hehehe

Very interesting first half. Your text kinda complements my comment in post 1 (though I'm not that articulate with the words haha). "The smallest minority on earth is the individual." You realized that yourself: There's no same. Not even a mother can produce two equal individuals. Sure, we can look alike. But when we analyze the different facets, we'll realize ppl are widely different. And it's ok. We can live with that.

Baby's first words are usually the cultural derivatives of "dada, mama, and MINE." This is one of our sames. I wonder what the world would be if we changed that same to "Here, it's yours."

It feels to me that it's our animal mentality manifesting. Have you ever seen how animals are protective with food, especially dogs. It might have to do with scarcity, who knows... However, we are the only animal with mental capacity to say "oops, this is wrong." Sure we do have a long way to go when it comes to sharing, but it could be much worse. Imagine humans biting one another because of something \o\

thank you my friend!!!

When you consider the fact that we have the same one heart and one soul.
You will understand that skin color doesn't make us different. People shouldn't make us feel inferior for any reason. WE DEFINE WHO WE ARE