Being a stay-at-home mom is an admirable choice many women make to provide a nurturing environment for their children. However, despite the rewards of motherhood, stay-at-home moms often experience feelings of guilt and shame.
And I'm not an exception.
The guilty feeling for not contributing financially to the household or for not pursuing their careers is enormous, especially when it's the social norm and the economy left us no choice. In a society that values financial success and independence, it can be challenging for stay-at-home moms to feel validated and appreciated for their role in the family.
There are two sides to the coin. And there will always be some good and evil in every situation. I wouldn't say SAHMs are the best and perfect as they can spend more time with their family. Absolutely not. But what I'm saying is, if anyone can afford to be a SAHM, choose that lifestyle for her, and goes best for her family then she shouldn't feel the pressure from outside and inside of the family as well.
We need to remember, that the social structure runs best when there's someone to take active care of the upcoming generation. And you have to agree that a mom's role can't be replaced!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not here to shame the working mom but to appreciate the payless job of a SAHM.
I left a 4.5 years career in a top organization in HR with a very good salary to pursue my family life. I believe, I managed to make that decision because of my supportive husband. I know, it's not always the case for everyone. I have one of the best higher degrees in my country, I was one of the toppers at my University; it took me a lot to leave everything. I felt ashamed for not having a "real job" or for not being able to contribute to society in the same way as my working counterparts/friends/relatives. It's the judgment of the condition for me to not live up to societal expectations. This shame leads to feelings of inadequacy and a sense of not belonging and it was detrimental to my mental health.
I'm not sure if I wouldn't make a side hustle for myself on online platforms, I would feel the same positive energy I feel now. What I believe is, it's okay if anyone chooses just to take care of the family. If the man is the breadwinner then I have no problem making a sandwich. There's no 50/50 in our home but a flow of understanding and providing the best from our end.
Remember, the more 'modern' we are becoming the more we would feel the pressure to pressure a career and shame the SAHMs. So if you are a SAHM like me, take the time to determine why you choose to be so before going with the flow of what others think. If you are happy with what you do, there's no one that can break you.
You have the power to make a significant contribution to your family's well-being which no amount of money can buy. You can be a role model for your kids if you train yourself as such. You are the glue for your family, for the community, and as a whole for society. You should be proud of your contribution to your family and communities, and should not let guilt and shame undermine your self-worth and sense of purpose.
Don't come after me as I have said something very traditional. You don't have to agree with everything, we all are entitled to our opinions. Again, I'm saying, my core purpose is to point out that there's no shame to choose to be a SAHM if anyone can afford and choose to be so. You don't have to praise us if you don't feel so but don't shame us.
