“Yes, Thalia, your husband is safe, and sound asleep … he told me he has not been sleeping well this whole week before coming up to Big Loft to take care of this business … it is a good thing they scanned the paperwork to Richmond instead of him hitting the road … yes, of course … it is what soldiers learn to do every day, pushing through the first level of exhaustion, and then another, and another … but he is resting well now … it is a good thing he missed all that … Grayson and neighbor Milton had a solution, though … what?
The laugh Colonel H.F. Lee restrained was still sitting on his face as a smile when Capt. R.E. Ludlow, 40 minutes into a 70-minute drive, slowly woke up and oriented himself to the world by his cousin's smile.
“I have no idea where I am,” he said softly, “but if you are smiling it can't be bad.”
“Where you are going,” the colonel said gently, “your six-year-old grandson Grayson and your nine-year-old neighbor Milton Trent have come up with a novel solution to any and all shipping problems.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, R.E. You see, skates each have four wheels, so a roller skater has eight wheels and a helmet for safety. Two skaters are a 16-wheeler, and four are a 32-wheeler, with more wheel power than any truck and more safety, too.”
Capt. Ludlow came fully awake laughing hard at this train of thought.
“So, then,” the colonel said, “Milton said that if he can get his cousin Tom's skater friends to loan his family and your family some skateboards, Grayson can build a Lego platform on top of them to put the Ludlow Bubbly on, and then build sides on the platform so nothing will fall off – in the end, eight skaters with an additional eight skateboards creates a 96-wheeler transport. Everyone will be wearing helmets and N95 or KN95 masks, so there will be really great safety, too. And this should work because the Iditarod works – you know, in Alaska where there are sled teams of dogs, except skaters are humans, there isn't any cold snow to slip on, and so this should work even better.”
By this time, the car was ringing with Capt. Ludlow's fully unleashed basso profundo as he rolled laughing in the passenger seat – the colonel had just run the details in while the captain had to breathe between laughs.
“So, how Mrs. Ludlow stopped the skater train of thought was to remind Grayson and Milton of how long it takes to get permits because of the pandemic, but to write it all up so we can get on it as soon as Covid goes away!”
“And by tomorrow,” the captain said breathlessly, “they will be on to the next idea, if not by tonight.”
“It's a good thing you got that nap,” the colonel said.
“It is, H.F.!”
The captain laughed again, then sighed heavily.
“The awesome privilege,” he said, “of raising children.”
“Yes, sir,” the colonel said. “I hope that should the Lord grant Maggie and I comfort for our lost little ones in our first marriages, we can do half the job you and Thalia and also Sgt. Trent and his wife are doing. Grayson and Milton have little minds not squashed. That's an accomplishment in a world like this.”
He paused, and then smiled again.
“Ready for me to tell you how Amanda and Edwina wanted to decorate the 96-wheeler?”
“I need another 15 minutes of a nap first before that one, H.F.”
Next to them, Maggie Lee pulled up driving her husband's truck, with grandmother-in-law Linda Lee in the front and grandfather-in-law Horace Lee in the back, sitting between still-wide-eyed Ludlow grandsons Lil' Robert (5) and George (9) as he told his stories of 87 years in the Blue Ridge and the rest of the southern Appalachian mountains.
“Yeah, R.E.,” the colonel said as he acknowledged his wife with a gentle smile and wave, “go on and get that nap, because by the time Lil' Robert and George pass on the information Big Pappa is giving them and they process all that, you doubtless are going to need to be well-rested.”
Capt. Ludlow broke out laughing again.
“I just thought of something!” he said. “Skating a 96-wheeler up and around the Blue Ridge! It would be BIGGER than the Iditarod!”
“Actually, there are skaters who take the some of the quieter parts of the Blue Ridge Parkway and do videos – you're not far off the mark. I guarantee you that would be one summer activity that would get everyone a good night's rest – just say they have to skate UP first!”